Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Diary of a New Driver - Chapter Three




To read the previous chapters, click below.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2


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Chapter 3: Petal to the Metal


    Considering the previous nerve-wracking experiences (which have undoubtedly diminished from my lifespan), it is little wonder that I was quite leery of the gas pedal. My top speed averaged a mere 10 mph. In our next lesson, my father set out to correct this.


“Going too slow can be just as dangerous as going too fast. If you’re on the highway and you don’t get up to speed fast enough, you could get rear-ended.” 

“But I won’t be on the highway for a long time!”  

“Still, you need to learn to accelerate. Now this is a nice long stretch of road with nobody on it. I want you to press the gas pedal and keep accelerating until you reach 40 mph.”

I laughed and then looked at his face.

“Wait...you’re serious?”

“Yes I’m serious! You’ll be fine, 40 mph isn’t that fast anyways.”

That’s faster than horses can run!!! Why oh why did we ever give up horseback riding as a means of transportation? Now we’re constrained to these tiny torpedos running on highly combustible material!! Tell me again how that’s safer??


Nevertheless, I gripped the wheel and gingerly placed my foot on the gas.

“Just accelerate slowly and don’t let off until you’ve reached 40.” 


With a quick prayer reminding God I was still young and to please not let me die, I pushed the pedal to the floor. 


“You’re supposed to accelerate slowly!” Dad exclaimed as he was thrust back in his seat. I barely heard him. My mind was focused on getting that little red needle to point at 40. 


Ten… twenty…. halfway there. Woah, we’re really going fast, this is actually pretty cool! So much power… it’s like I’m in a high speed car chase! 


Inexplicably, the Mission Impossible theme song started playing in my head.


We got a tip from an anonymous source that a notorious drug dealer is headed for the border. He’s highly armed and highly dangerous… but so am I. 


HQ has tracked the criminal’s car to a nearby city. I’m on the prowl. Suddenly, I notice the license plate of the car in front of me. 

It’s him! 

He apparently notices me at the same time and takes off. He’s trying to slip into that back-alley. Ha! I don’t think so buddy! 

I speed up and block the entrance, he throws his car into reverse, I pull out my gun and aim for his tires. There’s a loud pop and he pulls out his shotgun. 

Quick, duck! 

My back window shatters and he takes off again, but his front wheel is leaking air. Good luck outrunning me on a flat tire! 

I speed up and put a bullet hole in his back window. His car careens off the road. I slam on the brakes and jump out, gun drawn. He climbs out and tries to run. 

Not so fast mister! Put your hands in the air, you’re under arrest!

“Feeling good?” Dad asked, noticing the grin on my face.

“What? Oh.. yeah, I’m good.” 


“You can let off the gas now and just coast.” 


I did so and then gave a quick glance at the speedometer. 


Forty-five??? I was doing forty-five?? How am I still alive??? Talk about a miracle… thank you Lord!


“Start braking and pull off into that driveway. See, that wasn’t so bad. You’re doing great!”


I smiled.

"Thanks Dad."

Maybe I can become a good driver after all. Who knows, I might even become an FBI agent... 




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How long did it take you to discover the gas pedal? 
Do you enjoy going fast or do you prefer to take it slow?